As a parent, guardian, or educator, it's essential to teach children the skill of identifying and naming their emotions. This simple practice can have a significant impact on a child's ability to regulate their emotions, behaviour, and overall well-being. So often, a child's big reactions are the only way they can communicate their feelings as they don't have the right language or vocabulary to express how they feel inside.
Research has shown that when children can identify and label their emotions, they are better able to manage their emotions and cope with difficult situations. This phenomenon is often referred to as "Name it to tame it." The phrase implies that simply acknowledging and labeling emotions can help to reduce the intensity of those emotions and by providing distance between us and the emotion. This in turn gives us a time to control our response to the feeling.
Children (and adults) who can identify and label their emotions are more likely to have better social skills and stronger relationships. Being able to communicate feelings more effectively, allows for less fraught interactions and fewer conflictual interactions. They are less likely to engage in impulsive behavior or act out in ways that could harm themselves or others. Naming their emotions will, over time, give children more conscious awareness of their reactions to it, allowing them to better able to regulate their behavior and make positive choices, even in challenging situations.
Similarly, when children can recognise and name their own emotions are better equipped to empathise with others and understand their needs.
So, how can you help children develop the skill of identifying and naming their emotions? Here are a few tips:
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Encourage children to talk about their feelings: Start by creating a safe and supportive environment where children feel comfortable expressing their emotions. Let them know that it's okay to feel a wide range of emotions and that they can always come to you for support.
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Model emotional intelligence: Children learn by example, so make sure you are modeling emotional intelligence in your own life. Talk about identifying your own feelings and how you cope with them in healthy ways.
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Use age-appropriate language: Use language that is appropriate for the child's age and developmental level. For younger children, you can use simple words like happy, sad, angry, and scared. As they get older, you can introduce more nuanced emotions like frustrated, disappointed, and anxious.
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Practice labeling emotions: When you notice that a child is experiencing an emotion, label it for them. For example, "I can see that you're feeling frustrated right now." This practice can help children develop a better understanding of their emotions and provide them with the language to express them.
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Use books and games: There are plenty of children's books and activities that can help children develop emotional intelligence. For example, you can read books that focus on emotions or play games like emotions charades that encourage children to identify and label their feelings.
HOT TIP! Don't try any of these while your child is in the throes of a meltdown or other big feelings. Use calming strategies and have a light-hearted chat about trying to identify how they may have felt (if they remember) another time.
Get your Identifying Feelings poster here.